I am at the end of my rope. I am starting fresh. I am thinking. I am living. Living hurts like hell by the way. Be prepared. If you ever decide to experience life fully, please realize that it hurts deeply and profoundly at times. It is also amazing.

I am going to start making my own soap and laundry detergent. I am streamlining my wardrobe, getting rid of unneccessary items. I have a lot of unneccesary items, by the way. I am trying to figure out just what the term "green" means. I have recently pondered what it means to be a fan of God on facebook, something that I am still trying to conceive.

I am now going to be looking for some sort of job that I can do from home while I homeschool my child as a single mother. Tough stuff. It will come with time. Until then, she will have to go to day care while I finish school. Someday I will live the life that I want. Until that day comes I will work diligently to get to that place.

I will let you know how the soap making goes. It should be fun. I am also learning to can. I plan to take lessons from my grandma (Memaw), and I plan to help my grandfather in his garden. I swear, that man can grow anything. I would probably believe it if he told me that he was growing a hot dog tree.

I am hoping to make this blog into something I am proud of, something I can share with others. It will definitely be a mixture of a lot of different things. I am working on some short writing. I am going to school. I am trying desperately not to fall apart because the man of my dreams is in Africa; he will be shortly at least. He certainly isn't with me, at least not physically. I am also determinedly trying to figure out exactly what it is that I believe. I am pouring, when the time is available, over different holy writings.

I have too much going on. Now that I have turned my mind back on, I refuse to turn it off.