Thursday, September 24, 2009

a bit of clarity...

Often times, when I have asked someone what she is looking for in a significant other she will tell me that she does not know what she wants but what she does not want.

That gives the entire relationship I negative connotation. That makes a person mold her life to fit with another's life. Why is this acceptable?

There are many things that I am sure of. (One of them is that that last sentence is dangling...) One thing that I am sure of is that I know what I want in another person; I know what I don't want in a person as well, but more importantly, I know what I want.

The more I come into my own and grasp things I know to be true, the more refreshing I find life. Life can certainly be surprising and hurtful, but even pain is something beautiful and sublime. One should relish in pain like one relishes in joy. It is thrilling to know that an experience was good enough to allow you to truly feel agony and bliss. Allow yourself to fully feel both of these things. Let what is going to happen, happen. Why not let an emotion fully wash over you? There is a certain realism that comes with being passionate, and that realism is something that I am not willing to give up.

What is it that I want?

1. Intelligence (This is a quality to be decided upon based on my own views of what that word truly means.)

2. Wit (A sense of humor filled with puns and dryness)

3. Must read good books ("good" meaning not popular fiction.. e.g. Sparks, Meyer, Piccoult)

4. Not religious, but spiritual

5. Attractive (Let's be honest; I'm no harridan.)

This list makes me seem particularly accepting of many a man. Do not be confused; I am quite persnickety about such things. In fact, I can picture one man in particular who fits these specifications quite well.

On another note:
Things always change; one either becomes malleable to this or lives a life filled with discontent. Learning to be malleable is the difficult part. But, the more focus put on such things, the easier they become.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


I think I am a socialist.

I know I am a deist.
Things are beginning to move more quickly. The semester is completely underway; often I feel as though there is no possible way for me to keep up, but I somehow pull through, finishing all of my reading and other random assignments.

As noted in previous blogs, my Faulkner class is keeping me on my toes. I love Billy (as he was called by his family) and his way with words. Dr. T will often read a sentence in class then say "You could be alone in the middle of the desert, pick this up, and say 'That's Faulkner.'" And, it is true; there is no mistaking his prose. My other novel class, British Fiction, is a bit daunting. I am having trouble staying in-tune with these novels. Right now, we are reading Tom Jones, and it isn't a horrible novel, but it is a bit pretentious, and that is a quality which I do not have much patience for at the moment, if ever.

I must fill out grad. school applications,read, work on my scholarly paper for said applications, read, apply for jobs, read, do my free-lance work, read, save money, etc.

Things are certainly speeding up. I like it.


Turning 23 in London is going to be amazing. I found out on Monday that I will be spending two weeks traveling over Christmas break. I am already sad about how much time I will have to spend separated from Nora, but this is a one-time chance. I've been making a list of things that I want to do while I am there. I am going to combine this list with one of my friends, and from that we will decide what to do and what to not do. I am giddy about it.

New Year's Eve in London, England. Be jealous!