communicate

Regardless of what or how you believe, this series is wonderful. Dale McGowan is opening lines of communication up for lots of people! Take a look: http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=2917

revision

I've slept on it. I wasn't wrong to be honest with my mom. I do feel horrible that she is so worried. It will take a while, and while I don't think she will ever fully understand my point of view, I do think she will eventually accept my decision and my lifestyle. I certainly don't plan to try to change her mind about her beliefs. I respect her beliefs, and I hope that within a few weeks or months she will also come to respect my own beliefs. She is welcome to tell Nora about Christianity when she gets older, as long as there is no threat of burning for eternity in hell.

Basically, I wish I hadn't worried my mother so much, but I feel relieved to get the information out in the open.

As much as I'd like to think that always telling the truth is the right thing to do, I can honestly say that there are moments (though few and far between) that it is best to just tell people what they want to hear. In my case it wasn't so much what someone wanted to hear; it was what she needed to hear.

Telling one's worrisome mother that you no longer believe in the things that she taught you to believe in is not a great idea. I do believe a lot of the things that she's taught me, but I just cannot believe in Christianity any longer. I didn't just come out and shove that information in her face, but when she asked, I told her the truth.

I am now dealing with a very melancholy and concerned woman.

My mom is an amazing lady. I've now given her more to worry about with two sentences than I've given her to worry about with all of the "sins" that I've committed over all the years of my life...

Why in the world am I stupid enough to be so fucking honest...

freedom

sometimes

There are days when things just do not go well. There is nothing that can or cannot be done to solve this. A series of things has happened today. An inner aching pervades my every action. I've been wondering why things happen to be so difficult today. Sure, it has rained for nearly a month now, but that isn't a great reason to be so gloomy. In fact, maybe the lugubrious weather has been directed by my moods.

At least one thing has been simple today. I am feeling a loss, a far removed one, but a loss. I just received a simple text: 17 years ago today in 45 minutes, Papaw. I think it is possible that I am mourning unconsciously for someone whom I can barely remember.