"Druthers"

When I cry, I prefer to allow
the tears to stream down my cheeks,
turning my face into a dank room
that no one cares to visit.

When I laugh, I am inclined to let
my chortles fill the empty spaces
between my bones, making my
very being shine with delight.

When I ponder, I favor solitude
and silence, my thoughts quickly
becoming my only comrade,
leaving me in commune with my vast mind.

When I visit with you, I fancy
long conversations filled with
silence, sweat, and laughter,
arranging our souls and thoughts in
ways to keep them stationary as we move about.

-Lauren Adams

I've recently been conducting a small, not so random, survey about beliefs. I asked people vague questions about their beliefs in general. The questions were something like this: "Name/Age," "What do you believe?", "How did you come to this conclusion/why do you believe what you believe?", and "Are these beliefs deeply personal?"

I received some quick and honest replies. I sent this email to about 40 people, and I've received possibly twelve responses. And, a few of the responses were quite lackluster, to be honest. I had planned to compile the answers into some sort of essay about the type of people a girl who has grown up in rural Arkansas comes into contact with, but I've not gotten enough responses to compile anything.

I suppose I am just trying to figure out how I have reached this point. How did I get to this stage in my questioning of life and religion. How is it that I have turned out this way? ...We may never know.

However, I am not about to give up.